Since having a daughter I’ve spent considerably more time thinking about family and how to ensure that I become a good role model to my kids and grand-kids.  I’ve realised that societal influence has and will always impact what the norm is considered to be. But how much of this societal influence comes from our immediate social circles and can we cherry pick the positive influences while protecting our families from detrimental stereotypes?

I’m a new dad so I’m not yet an authority on family dynamic’s, nor have I done comprehensive research into this topic so I could be totally off the mark. My initial thoughts are that there are four principles that influence family dynamic – Religion, Finance, Society and Legacy. A good question is whether people choose friends based on a similar prioritization of these principles, or whether we influence each other and by so doing able to relate to each other. Maybe it’s a bit of both?
I’m sure this wont be my first post on this topic so I’ll just kick off with initial thoughts.

Religion:
Many Religions  consider themselves a way of life and have stringent rules as to how you should live your life. This is by far the biggest determining factor in many households. Noticeably, people who are in more progressive religions and denominations, tend to live more progressive lifestyles
Finance:
Cashflow into a household does also impact a lot of the family dynamic, especially in relation to lifestyle. Where this is most evident in our current family dynamic is when the monthly cashflow from a single working spouse does not cover all family expenses. In this scenario it is likely that both the husband and wife need to maintain a monthly salary. The impact of this on the family is something I’ll unpack in a future post.

Society:
That old phrase comes to mind – “Keeping up with the Joneses”.  In an age of daily marketing bombardment and easy credit, many families look to their peers and compare their lifestyles. My mother had an interesting saying “If you cant afford it, you can do without it”. I didnt like the saying at the time, but when I think about it, most times it does actually apply.
Legacy:
Grandparents are powerful in the role they play in a family dynamic. Take a look around you, notice how families with respected and successful Grandparents who communicate with all their descendants, are families who seem destined for similar success. This is a topic very dear to me, so I’m hoping I can unpack it in more detail.

As I travel the road of the new dad, I’m sure there’ll be many course corrections and countless refinements to my thinking around family. But I hope that I’ll remain open-minded and committed to establishing a happy and successful family of my own.

-AL-

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